Posted by Jen Black
So, I’m ready.
I’ve found a pair of “too cool” shoes.
I have my costume made …and it turned out ok, I think.
My bags are mostly packed with just a few toiletries to add in the morning.
I have a #GirlsRoadTrip set up with some awesome tweeps thanks to #BlissDomCanada sponsor #GMCanada and their loan of a new Equinox.
I have a healthy breakfast waiting for me thanks to #Kellogg’s another #BlissDomCanada sponsor who, along with #MabelsLabels, sent each participant an awesome box of swag last week.
I’ve left my fridge full for my family and the laundry is clean (although I did not manage to get it folded and put away). #BasketDiggingWillBeRequired.
So I’m ready…. Right?!?!
So why do I feel like I’m going to burst into tears?!?
Why do I want to crawl under my covers and forget to come out in the morning?
Why am I so scared?
There are tons of people, who I talked to daily going to this conference.
These are people who I really enjoy. They are nice, kind, helpful, smart, funny, successful, wonderful people…. so why, when I have the chance of a lifetime to go and spend three full days with them, do I want to run the other way?
I’ve struggled my whole life with confidence issues.
I know why I have these issues. I know the people that perpetuated these feelings in me are idiots but yet the damage they caused is there. I fight it everyday. I was told I wasn’t good enough. I was told I was fat. I was told I would never be successful because I made/make bad decisions. I was made to feel on a regular basis that I wasn’t good enough and I was letting people down.
Years later, I am a grown up. I recognize the destructive nature of parts of my childhood yet it still effects me everyday. It’s like music in the back of my head that I can’t turn off no matter how hard I try. Unfortunately, people don’t realize this about me. They think I’m confident and secure but that’s a skill I’ve learned to fake. If I didn’t pretend to be that, I’d be told I was being ridiculous and to grow up and not be a baby. I was an embarrassment.
And that’s it I think. Going to #BlissDomCanada. Meeting all these successful people, these fabulous people and having all of them realized I shouldn’t be there. I’m nothing special.
Ultimately, not being good enough and letting everybody down.
OK. Now that all that’s been said…
I am going to try to get some sleep. I’m going to take three deep cleansing breaths. Imagine myself enjoying every moment of this exciting adventure.
I am ready. I will do this. I am good enough
What holds you back? Have others created fears in you that are unfounded? Tell me about it!
Posted by Jen Black
As a lot of you know, last week I stalked the SM forums to ask, plead and beg for everyone who follows me to vote for a picture I submitted to a Huron Tractor (John Deere) calendar contest.
The contest opened in April but I didn’t get involved until May 11, leaving us way behind the leader in the vote department. Luckily, this contest wasn’t just about the votes, they were also using a panel of judges to determine the winners.
The contest allowed people to vote each hour and each hour found me sending out pleas to everyone who was online to take a moment to vote. “Please vote, did you vote? If you did vote don’t forget to go back in a hour and vote again!” I was driving people crazy, I’m sure.
Considering we had 6.5 days and the leader had 21 days to vote, I think Twitter and Facebook proved their power.
Our average was 166 votes a day and the top vote getter had 67 a day. We totalled 1081 and they got 1407. That’s impressive!
Now, like I said before , there were judges involved in the decision process so when the final choices were revealed, my picture was not one of the winners and, for the record, I’m ok with that. I like most of the chosen pictures (you can see the winners here) and the images that beat us in the voting process were not selected, for that I am grateful. They were bad pics. #JustSaying
Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all the people who voted, RT, passed our plea on to their friends and family.
We may not have won a lawnmower or got my photograph in a calendar but you did show me the power of Social Media, love of family and friends, and the benefit of a little OCD behaviour.
Thank you to you all.
Oh, and just for the record, I think it would have made a great cover!
What do you think?