Crazy? Nuts? Or An Addiction in the Making?
Back to school came and went and with it came routines, schedules and the never ending shuttle service I am chauffeur to.
The lunches, dance classes, swimming lessons, supplies, paperwork and never ending check requests all for the under 8 contingency of my family but this year I have made a vow to make time and find the money to take care of me too.
Some of you may know that a couple years ago I lost 60lbs. I accomplished this goal by following the Weight Watchers program and walking… A LOT of walking. I averaged 30 to 40 kms a week. And I succeeded. I reached my goal. Lost the weight. Felt good. Hell, I felt great but somewhere in the process lost the initial key that helped me start my journey.
The key: That one thing that forced my hand; that kept me motivated to stay on track…
I lost the belief that my needs are important. That, my health is a priority. That I must take time for me.
And so, when I finally reached my goal, I started to slack. I would allow others to distract me from my walks. I would have the dessert I didn’t need. I stopped counting my points and let it all go. I gained back all but 6 of the 60lbs I’d originally lost.
Now, I know it’s not about the number on the scale. (Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the number on my scale but) Its about feeling good. Being able to participate in the things I love. It’s about being able to play with my kids without hurting myself. It’s about being the best I can be and I knew I wasn’t doing that.
Fast forward to this past July. I saw myself and cried. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t strong. I wasn’t being fair to myself or my family because I’d let myself get so far away from everything I could be… Again.
I immediately said, enough. I need to be as focused on myself and my needs as I am on my kids. I need to take control of a situation that only I can. And so, I got back on the Weight Watchers wagon, tracking what I eat and making good food choices but the exercise portion seemed to flop and fail.
I tried to start walking again and, following some suggestions from some other friends, tried an app to teach me to run but nothing lasted. Summer was busy. I’m home alone with the kids. There were lots of excuses to let myself not do the work and so, I didn’t.
By the middle of August I had lost over 16lbs. Then I went camping for two weeks with the kids.
S'mores, hotdogs, snacks and too many meals out helped me put back on 7 lbs of those I'd lost. Shame on me but the time away taught me a clear lesson. I feel horrible when I don't eat properly. Headaches, fatigue, crabbiness and a general feeling of unwell plagued me our whole vacation.
It was not how I wanted the summer to end but it gave me a chance to really look at myself.
What I learned was two fold. One was, healthy portions of good food is imperative and two, I need help to get my fitness level back on track.
Introducing "The Tank".
Three years ago a homegrown Goderich boy started a Crossfit training group in the shed of his family’s apple farm. Ok, maybe not a “boy” but a certified Chiropractor who’s goal is to “unleash potential”.
Today that group has grown into a much talked about "place to be" for anyone serious about getting their physical selves back on track. James (aka Koi) now has so many “fISH” he runs 6 classes a day and has had to move to a bigger location. It's not pretty and you're going to get dirty but they get the work done!
And that's where I now find myself three mornings a week! CrossFit! Can you believe it!
The reactions I got from people when they heard I'd joined Koi and all his #fISHY friends were curious.
The people who had heard about the group but had never been, thought I had completely lost my mind. While those who had participated in the past or who were still involved, said I'd love it. They predicted an addiction would take hold….once I made it through the first week.
Honestly, I was terrified! Scared out of my skull! I mean… I walk, I can't run, I've never tried lifting weights. What was I thinking?!?!
But I went. And, even though after the first day I was in more pain then I've experienced EVER, I went back and I didn't give up. As predicted, the first week was HELL but it did improve. The people are fantastic, Koi is stellar and I found as the month moved forward I looked forward to my "Tank Time". Until one day my baby bear was sick and I realized the "addiction" had begun to sink in. When my priority should have been my child, I found my concern was focused more on "how will I get to The Tank for 9am?!?!"
Now for all my CAS friends, I took care of my sick child (my priorities aren’t that screwed up) but I did make a point to make it to the nooner! 🙂
Fast forward to this week, the start of my second month…
I’m down 10.8lbs since I started at The Tank and 20lbs since I started Weight Watchers in July. I am able to swim 1000m and over the past month have cut 10.5mins off my best time. I’m rowing faster, lifting more and finding myself growing stronger.
Finding myself (again) is a process and I recognize it will take time but I’m thrilled at how my body is changing and how much better I feel both physically and mentally.
This month 10 lbs… Next summer a whole new woman! ….but wait! I need a fish name! Any ideas?
Do you take care of yourself? Are your needs a priority or does everybody else come first?